The “list”. Everyone has some version of their own in their minds, or even on paper. The list of all the highly anticipated qualities you want in the man you marry!!

I’m certainly all about lists—you might as well go on and sign me up for “Type A’s Anonymous”—and I definitely had one for my future husband. Teenage Julia practically had bullet points and sub-categories for this very important document.

I remember the very moment I knew I wanted to marry Rob. I honestly don’t remember what we were precisely talking about in that moment, but what I remember is how impressed I was with his thought process and reactions. [I know, the exciting stuff Nicholas Sparks’ movies are made of!! haha] But seriously, as I listened to him talk, I had this realization moment that I could completely trust his decisions, and his advice. He was talking from a place of understanding, and depth. I realized that one day, when I had kids who would need counsel, I could send them to him with total confidence, and be absolutely sure that whatever he would tell them would be sound and wise.

There are a lot of things that go into knowing that you want to marry someone. Good looks? Oh yeah, I’m so thankful for the world’s most handsome husband. Great sense of humor? Good gracious, my husband is by far the funniest person I know. But even above all these amazing things, there is one thing that is absolutely crucial, but often overlooked: Wisdom.

There is a point in our list-making where we can go overboard; when we become all about a list for the list’s sake, especially in the category of this oh-so-epic “Future Husband” list. Sometimes there are things we need to look past in pursuit of the things that are the most valuable.

Did you know that the writer of Proverbs actually tells us what should be at the top of the list for “husband job qualification?” Proverbs 4:7-10, MSG:

“Above all and before all, do this: Get Wisdom! Write this at the top of your list: Get Understanding!

Throw your arms around [him!]—believe me, you won’t regret it; never let [him] go—[he’ll] make your life glorious.

[He’ll] garland your life with grace, [he’ll] festoon your days with beauty.

Dear friend, take my advice; it will add years to your life.”

Proverbs is telling us this—your very life is at stake, dependent on what you put at the top of your list.

Ladies, marry a man who is wise. Wisdom by nature shows itself more clear with age, but you can see the seeds of it at a young age—in work ethic, in job history, in relationships, in interaction with people—in all the things that possibly sound a little less exciting at first, but qualities that will sustain your life and your family.

I really don’t care if this line of thinking is popular or trendy. When the winds of trends shift to something else in a few years—and they surely will—you’ll be left with someone who you’ll be with for the rest of your life, and you better be ready to live with the results of decisions they have made. The book of Proverbs has withstood the test of time, just like we desire for our marriages, and it tells us to look past all the noise to what is most important.

Wisdom and Understanding.

I mean, look at this paraphrase again! It basically tells us to throw ourselves at a guy who has wisdom! Hahaha. It says to not let him go! (Ok, but for real, this is not the stalker theme song friends. Still use….wisdom! )

But what are things every woman desires in the marriage of her dreams? Love. Protection. Grace. Beauty. All of these desires probably ring a bell in our hearts, and starting in verse 6, Proverbs 4 tells us that’s exactly what we can have when we have wisdom:

“Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.”

I am in awe as I watch my husband walk in wisdom. Sometimes, I honestly forget to admire the wisdom in his heart, and then I’ll see him navigate difficult situations, or react with grace, and I literally stop and gape on the inside. And seriously, in those moments, I pray a prayer of thanks to God for marrying a wise man.

It is something for which I am continually and forever grateful. I realize how much it directs my life. It makes a difference in my quality of life; it makes a difference for our family.

Never underestimate the power of wisdom, and never bypass it quickly, should you find it in someone. Bypass a thousand other qualities before you do this one. The Bible says“get it at any cost.” 

Read Proverbs 4 in other translations—Amplified, Message, NIV—to get a clear picture of this life-changing quality, and then believe God to both bring someone across your path who carries it in his heart, also giving you eyes to see the treasure most valuable in these precious lives.

Or if you already have your man—pray for him to have and increase in this vital and indispensable virtue. You will be investing in your family and your future by doing so!

And Happy Jesus Birthday to my 33-year-old handsome-hunk of a wise man. You are the best choice I’ve ever made!