Ever felt hurt, surprised, dumbfounded that someone acted in a way you felt was wrong, unfair, or dishonorable? Only to then be even more crushed when that person was a Christian and you felt like they should know better?!

What??!?! Yes, it happens. You’re not perfect, and I’m not perfect. We know that, but it doesn’t make it less painful when people that you love and hold to that higher standard of Christian living and loving (yourself included!) fall short of the standard from time to time.

How do you react when a Christian doesn’t act like a Christian? What is the right response? Here’s a few thoughts and keys to recovering your emotions and your focus to where God wants them to be.

7 Answers of what to do when Christians don’t act like Christians: 

1-Don’t use them as an excuse. You are accountable to God for what you are supposed to be doing, regardless of what other people do. When we get to Heaven, we won’t be able to tell God that we didn’t do what we were supposed to do by pointing a finger at the next person in line. We can’t let our feelings or our decisions ride on other people’s actions. Own up to your life and don’t get sidetracked by other people’s sidetracks. Romans 14:12

2-Understand that everyone is fighting their own battles. So many times we get caught up in our own lives that we have no clue what is going on in other people’s lives. Everyone is going through something. Let compassion and understanding rise in you. Everybody has had a bad day. Sow mercy so you can receive it when you need it — because you will! Ephesians 4:32  

3-Remember that there’s a perspective you don’t see. You know the saying that there’s always two sides to a story? Just because you see something one way doesn’t mean that is the only valid perspective. Pray to see every situation the way God sees it. Believe the best instead of believing everything you hear. Philippians 4:8 

4-Don’t let hurt stay. Don’t let bitterness take root. Put the past in the past, and put offense in the past. Dig up these weeds before they can affect your future and other around you. Don’t look at wind and waves, but focus on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith! Isaiah 43:18 

5-Talk to the person. If they are someone close enough to you that you can discuss the situation, go to them! The Bible is all about that. In Matthew 18:15 it says to go to a brother and talk to him! It is up to that person, of course, on whether or not they will receive it. But at least you have done your part to walk in peace; if done from a heart of pure motives, your spirit can be assured knowing that.

6-Don’t judge. It’s a sure way for us to avoid judgement ourselves. And then forgive. But what if they don’t judge themselves? Not your problem. What if they don’t repent? What if they keep doing the wrong thing? Again, not your problem. Cast your care. Never let it define your actions, or let the hurt of it embed into your heart. Two wrongs never make a right. Matthew 7:3-4; Romans 14:13 

7- Pray. Talk to God — not other people — about the situation. Also pray not just about the situation, but for them, and for their well-being! Matthew 5:44 says to pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you. Also pray the prayer in Ephesians 1:18 in for the eyes of their heart to be enlightened.  Matthew 5:44; Ephesians 1:18 

It can be eye-opening, disheartening, and downright dumbfounding to be on the receiving end of the mistakes and bad decisions that Christians make in life. Even Paul, in writing to the Corinthians, chastised Christians–yes Christians! the “spiritual” ones!–for being unethical, selfish, and insecure. If it happened then, it will happen again; there is nothing new under the sun. Guard your heart, and trust God. God understands when you are hurt by these things, but He doesn’t allow you to dwell on it at all.

The bottom line is that even when things happen, and people act in ways we don’t understand, we cannot act the wrong way in response to them and still be right.

Focus on the amazing truth that when we are all walking in unity, to be on the receiving end of victorious Christian living is amazing, inspiring, and faith building. Be the person that affects everyone that way. It starts with us responding correctly, believing the best, and looking to Jesus!

You can do it!

Hebrews 12:12 “Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Scripture references from points above:

1-Romans 14:12 “So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.”

2-Ephesians 4:32 “ And be…kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.”

3-Philippians 4:8 “And now, dear brothers and sisters…Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

4-Isaiah 43:18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.”

5-Matthew 18:15 “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.”

6-Matthew 7:3-4. “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?”

Romans 14:13 “Let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.”

7-Matthew 5:44 “I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

Ephesians 1:18 “By having the eyes of your heart flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you…”