In seventh grade, I was a mediocre Junior Varsity cheerleader that dreamed of being an awesome Varsity cheerleader. But when try-outs came and went, I had not made the squad. In the depths of my 13-year-old despair the next morning came the comforting voice of my parents, who talked with me about the situation. They ended up encouraging me to go for the new goal of trying out for the dance team. A strange thing for a pastors daughter, and definitely different from anything they had pictured me doing, but it ended up being one of the most productive experiences of my junior high career. It built confidence, social skills and vital leadership abilities. I became co-captain of the squad, and also made the All-Star team, which gave me the opportunity to be in a parade at Disney World. Both of those experiences would probably have never happened on the talent-stacked cheerleading squad. I owe those great memories to the encouragement of my parents.

Encouragement. Believing in someone. Looking back, I realize that’s something I have always received from my Mom and Dad. I guess I always assumed that everyone had the wonderful privilege of parents who are so supporting. As I got older, I realized that it actually is kind of rare, and it made me realize how special it is that I was able to experience it in my childhood. It brought me to the analyzation of how important it has actually been in my life. I never realized it before. But I truly believe now that it has been one of the main contributing factors to any success I have had in life.

Whenever we were leaving an event, competition, or audition that Mom and Dad were able to attend, I would often ask them the question ‘How did I do?‘ I always tried to convince myself that I would be prepared for an answer that was less than complimentary—prepared if I heard the replies, ‘You really could’ve done that better’, or ‘That was not quite up to par’—that I could handle it. I am very self-analytical in the first place, so all of those thoughts were already bouncing through my head. But if I heard it once, I heard a thousand times, some variation of the response ‘You did great, and you always do great. I am so proud of you.’

Even if the words were simple, there was always such a tone of pride and satisfaction from my parents about my performances. Although there might have been the occasional constructive criticism, I do not ever remember receiving criticism from them, not even one time — not of my school performances, extra-curricular involvements, or other activities. I only remember feeling like I could conquer the world, because of the way they believed in me. I remember the constant feeling and knowing that my Mom and Dad were always proud of me.

My parents made me feel like my brother and I were their superheros.

Even so, there have been times in my life where I have not accomplished everything that I wanted to accomplish.

In high school, I dreamed of performing a piano concerto with a symphony on a big stage in a big dress…as of now, I have yet to play with a symphony (it’s on the life list), but I got really close as runner-up in a regional concerto competition, and later played the piano for thousands of people in multiple big dresses on multiple big stages through my pageant experiences.

With big dreams, I ran in my first peer election as Secretary of the Freshman class. I didn’t win that year, and it was a sure lesson in overcoming disappointment; but the reward for working through the experience and not giving up opened the doors for me to win the elections for Sophomore and Junior class vice-presidents in the years to follow.

As a senior in high school, I dreamed of being a representative to Girls Nation, but fell short as an alternate. Yet in the process, I was a representative at Girl’s State and was voted Attorney General.

That same year I dreamed of being America’s Junior Miss, but never made it. Yet in the process, I did became Montgomery County’s Junior Miss, and placed Top 8 at the state program, giving me my first winnings of scholarship money for college.

I dreamed of being in leadership in Student Government at my university, in which I never quite went as far as I wanted to go. But in my preparation, I became Senior Class President in high school, delivered the speech at my graduation, and planned my 10-year reunion this year.

For that high school graduation, I had the goal of being valedictorian. I didn’t achieve that title, but I did stand second in line as salutatorian.

I dreamed of becoming Miss America. It was a title I never held, but I did get to be Miss Painted Rock and Miss Green Country, and I have a beautiful rhinestone crown that I’ll one day show my daughters. Not to mention some mean scholarship money that went toward my college education.

I dreamed of being first lady, and whether or not I ever get there, I already got to work at the White House.

It was harder to realize while in the middle of them, but I now clearly see that all of those “secondary” experiences are some of the best string of memories of my teenage years. They would have never happened if I did not first believe I could accomplish the biggest goal. And my parents made me believe that I could.

It really puts to light that cheesy-but-true quote “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

I do not mean these examples to say that you should not shoot for the moon. I am still shooting, and I believe I will one day lasso that moon. What I am saying is that I believe parents should make their child believe that they can shoot a bulls-eye in that moon, and keep on going, because no matter what happens in the process, they will learn so much more than they would have otherwise.

Parents should also be there if they do happen to ‘land among the stars’, helping to show them what a fun place the stars can be in which to dance.

Are there any glasses that you have been looking at half-empty? Have you lately been seeing the dreams that are unfulfilled and fallen, while in the process, overlooking the ones you have accomplished? Today, recognize the things you have done, and see how spectacular they are in and of themselves. Realize that they might not have even been there if it had not been for the bigger dream.

There were plenty of times growing up when I felt down about all of these things I mentioned. Times when I stopped believing in myself. And then, I would talk to my mom. She would remind me that Julia is a dreamer, that Julia is can do all things through Christ, that Julia makes her proud in whatever she does. I would talk to my mom, and come away excited to dream again.

My mom and dad believed in me.

And all my life, they were constant in that. I never heard them talk negative about me, to then apologize and talk well of me again. It was a constant, steady, unchanging support that made me completely believe everything they were saying was true.

They have consistently vocalized their faith in me, even to the point of embarrassment on my part. Many times, I have had to ask my mom to stop talking about me. I recently found out it was even a joke with some of my friends—they would take bets on it, that if they went up to talk to my mom, she would talk about me. Everyone knew she was proud of her kids. And her kids knew it.

My mom made me feel like a superhero—her superhero.

When kids know you are proud of them—when they experience it, and have no doubts in it—you build something in them that supports them for the rest of their life. Even if it embarrasses them, even if they ask you to stop, never stop.

Let me add that as I say these things, I mean them as no slight or judgement to any parent who feels less worthy of these descriptions. I believe each parent who does the best they know to do for their child has nothing in which to be ashamed. My stories here are simply meant to inspire those parents who are in the midst of their child-raising, as mental notes taken from my childhood that I also hope to implement in our family.

I think it just now hit me at about age 29 that it might be harder to conquer the world than I thought. But these entire 29 years, my mom and dad have made me feel that without a shadow of a doubt, the world is mine to take. That I can do it.

As I was shooting for the moon all those times, my mind held the grandest ideas of accomplishing grandiose things. Now, I am a little amazed at my gall to think so big, and wonder how in the world I could even dream like that?? I strongly believe it came from my parents, who never made me question or doubt myself. From parents who didn’t just say they supported me while doubting in their hearts—but from parents who believed everything they were saying so much that they made me believe it. They made me believe I could bulls-eye the moon.

I like where it has brought me. I like where it has me going. I will still keep shooting for the moon. I have more dreams, more mountains to climb. And because of my faith, and this home-grown, momma-fed self-confidence built up in the core of who I am, I believe they will happen.

Thank you, Mom. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day.