If there is any situation in which you could insert the thoughts and attitudes of the phrase “You got a problem with that?”, and it would fit — you got a problem.

That attitude is ultimately a defensive reaction, and if you could see yourself saying it in the scenario of your current position, then you are probably in need of more examining than anyone else in that scene. It could be that we are more in the wrong than the person or situation at which we are looking.

Our lab, Knightly, is a very kind dog. He loves everyone and everything; but something funny happens to Knightly when he gets scared. He starts growling a fierce-sounding growl, the fur on his neck stands up, and he might even bark, in a different kind of bark than usual. He sounds fierce, but actually, he is scared. Usually, he is even backing into Rob for safety as he growls at an unfamiliar sound he heard outside. He’s defensive.

As much as we try to tell him when everything is ok, or even give him a command to stop, he won’t listen to us. Only until he doesn’t feel threatened anymore will he calm down and respond to us like himself again.

A situation can start out where you have been misunderstood, or someone has done you wrong. You are innocent in the matter! Your reaction to it determines if you stay innocent or not. If you become defensive, it will quickly take you down a road toward bigger issues like being offended or bitter. Defensiveness will cause you to hold a grudge, instead of responding in kindness. Like Knightly, you are protecting your self from being hurt. Unfortunately, as natural as these responses feel, we are not to respond that way. Rather, we are to put on humility, meekness, gentleness, and teachable heart in our response, along with all the fruits of the Spirit. (Colossians 3:12, Galatians 5:22-23)

We’ve all seen that clever prop “D-fence” held up at a ball game (pictured at the top). I recently saw a comical ad making fun of the “D-fence” sign. Endeavoring to point out the uselessness of the sign, it read “Blocks your view. Makes no noise.” As funny as it is, there is truth to that spiritually! Being defensive, especially in your spirit, blocks you from being able to see people and situations clearly. The whole ‘mode’ of defense to which your emotions quickly draw are very useless to you in helping you make good or sound decisions, spiritually or otherwise.

That can come as a shock when you are viewing someone else as the one with the problem. It takes quite a shift to turn around and look at yourself. Great peace can come though, when we yield to the gentle voice of correction from the Holy Spirit in this matter. Proverbs 3:12 AMP says “For whom the Lord loves He corrects, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.” Just as a child often has a defensive attitude in receiving correction from a parent — no matter how much he knows they love him — we can also have that same attitude with God as He tries to lovingly instruct us.

In the harmless situations, it is, well, harmless, I suppose; but the purpose of the insignificant situations is to train you for the bigger ones. In important, life-altering situations, this attitude and reaction can be quite detrimental.

The source of it all is our inner man. Our conscience. When it pricks us, deep down and ever-so-lightly, instead of yielding to its guidance, many times we balk up and get defensive. We put other people’s names and other situations on the reason why were are justified in the reaction we have.

One of our favorite television indulgences is the BBC original ‘Downton Abbey.’ The grandmother on the series is one of my favorite characters; she has so many witty lines. In a recent episode, she said one that was more than wit — it was wise! — and it stuck with me. She said “People are never more righteous than when they’re in the wrong.”

People who are in the wrong, especially morally, are usually pretty defensive about it. Many even react by lashing out or pointing fingers at those who are in the right. The voice of immorality in our world is very loud, in fact. Why? At some point when they started down the wrong road, they felt the prick of conscience in their inner man, and chose to rebel against it. But it follows them, and they and their voice get louder as they try to fight it. They are reacting defensively to the still small voice inside. These scriptures in Acts and Ephesians show this to be the case:

“For this people’s heart has grown dull, and with their ears they can barely hear, and their eyes they have closed; lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears and understand with their heart and turn, and I would heal them.” Acts 28:27 ESV 

 “They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.” Ephesians 4:18 ESV

Another situation in which this can be seen is with relationships — ok, yes, I’m going there! In both friendships and romance, if something is not right, usually the people around you are a good judge of the situation; they can see things honestly and from a place less emotionally attached. So many times, we rebel against their opinion; we defensively react to the deep down scratching we want so badly to ignore. Kenneth E. Hagin called it a feeling of ‘washing your feet with your socks on.’ People make friendships with or date the wrong people all the time, out of pure defensiveness. In fact, some of the worst decisions of our lives can come out of this place.

Are you feeling defensive about anything in your life? No matter what the situation, stop right now and examine yourself. Be true to yourself and honestly look to see if you may be in the wrong. If we make the habit of doing this in even the little things, it will help us be able to see clearly in the most important decisions of life. It may be that you find only small adjustments need to be made; decisions like looking at God instead of man. You may find something bigger that needs addressing — either way, don’t ignore it.

Say instead, as David did “My defense is of God” (Psalm 7:10), and trust God to work together all things for your good (Romans 8:28). Let the Lord be your defense!

“I will sing of your mighty strength and power; yes, I will sing aloud of Your mercy and loving-kindness in the morning; for You have been to me a defense and a refuge in the day of my distress.”

Psalm 59:16 AMP